Once a benchmark for quality storytelling that managed to appeal to both adults and kids, Disney, under the leadership of Bob Iger, has rapidly descended into stunning mediocrity in the span of a few years. After keelhauling Star Wars into a disfigured mess with the utterly dreadful new trilogy, Disney has set its sights on its animated classics, most notably in the form of the live action remake of Mulan.

One doesn’t have to watch this dreck to know that it’s tarnished with a glaring stain: being made with the assistance and approval of the Communist Chinese bureau currently responsible for managing the Muslim concentration camps in Xinjiang, where millions of Uyghurs have been wrongfully imprisoned, tortured, raped, murdered, and had their organs harvested. This is the 2020 equivalent of having the Nazi SS help make your movie and give it their seal of approval. Anyone capable of recognizing this hideous fact should have the good sense to either boycott Mulan outright or watch it without giving a cent to Disney.

On its own merits, Mulan is exceptional for how utterly mediocre it is. It’s not even terrible enough to be enjoyable, like The Room or Samurai Cop. Compared to its charming 1998 counterpart, this live action remake is humorless, tame, badly acted, and worst of all, lacks a compelling female protagonist.

Mulan tries to present itself as more stoic and realistic tale, with few supernatural elements, no Elder spirits, no Mushu, and a limp-dick sense of humor that doesn’t go anywhere beyond Mulan trying to awkwardly dodge her male colleagues as they roll around in their sleep. The notion of Mulan plausibly passing for a man in an all-male army was utilized to hilarious effect in the animated version with comical moments where she strains to talk in a deep voice, learns how to spit, and trains in combat. Here, it just looks ridiculous when played out with live actors in a much more serious tone. It truly tests one’s suspension of disbelief when Mulan’s fellow soldiers, including Commander Tung, cannot see that she is obviously a woman.

Although its titular character can pass for a man in the eyes of its dim-witted characters, Mulan can’t pass for an impressive visual spectacle. It was made on a jaw-dropping $200 million budget, but you wouldn’t know that just by watching it no thanks to its woeful lack of cinematic scale. While the costume and set designs are exquisite, the film’s editing, framing and cinematography fail to convey a grand adventure. This is apparent in the battle scenes, which randomly utilize fancy camera movements that rotate alongside the action (ie, a character swings a sword downwards, and the camera rotates downwards alongside the sword). This looked great in Upgrade because it made sense to the story, but here it comes off as forced. The two biggest set-pieces promise an epic battle, but instead underwhelm with ho-hum choreography that would be impressive for a low-budget made-for-TV movie, but not a $200 million epic. Even Donnie Yen’s fighting ability is wasted, as the constraints of his armor prevent him from pulling off the kind of dazzling martial arts we saw in Ip Man. It seems as though Disney had to seriously curtail the violence in order to not alienate its younger audience, but for seasoned moviegoers, the experience comes off as something churned out of a “Make Your Own Historical Battle” kit.

This would all be forgivable if the movie had a great protagonist, and this is where Mulan fails the most. The titular character, played by Liu Yifei, is so unbelievably boring that she comes off as an even less interesting version of Rey from the Disney Star Wars trilogy. She wears the same Kristen Stewart-esque blank stare throughout much of the film, and never experiences anything resembling a character arc. Worst of all, the powers-that-be at Disney decided that, unlike the 1998 version, this Mulan would begin the story with superhuman fighting prowess from the get-go, with the explanation being that she is force sensiti- I mean she has strong “chi”. That’s right, where the 1998 version had Mulan start from zero and train her ass off alongside her comrades, persevering against all odds to become a capable warrior, this new version starts her out at the max level cap. In fact, her “struggle” is to contain her power, as decreed by her family and society at large, because she’s a woman and therefore not meant to be a fighter. In other words, while 1998 Mulan was about a woman who proved herself through sheer determination and hard work that she could stand and fight alongside her male counterparts, 2020 Mulan is about a woman who is already vastly superior to her male counterparts, and must struggle against a misogynistic society that wants her to put a lid on that superiority. There’s no journey for the audience to latch onto anymore, nor is there a character for them to relate to. Instead, we have a Mary Sue whose main struggle in life is “I’m too powerful and everyone around me is an idiot.”

Perhaps the most revealing aspect of Mulan comes in its ending. In the 1998 original, Mulan goes through hell and back for her father’s sake, befriending and working with a motley crew of soldiers and creatures to defeat the Huns, and becoming a hero as a result. She is offered a high-ranking position by the Emperor as a result, but turns it down to return to her family and very likely start a relationship with Captain Shang. This is an ending that makes perfect sense for a movie that wears its heart on its sleeve and emphasizes how love for one’s family and friends can drive people to extraordinary achievements. This 2020 version has a much different message. The ending plays out identically to the animated version, up until the point when Mulan returns home to her family. There, Commander Tung show up at her home to goad her a second time into joining the emperor’s guard, this time presenting her with a new sword to sweeten the deal. The story pretty much affirms that Mulan realizes she was meant for great things and accepts the deal, altering the themes of both the 1998 film and the legend it is based on to swing more towards serving one’s country rather than one’s loved ones. This is a pointless and unwanted diversion from the beating heart that makes the 1998 version so cherished.

Everything about Mulan reeks of a movie made without vision or passion. Having passed through not just Disney’s corporate drones but the Chinese government’s media Gestapo, the film is a watered-down, pale imitation of the 1998 version. Stick with the original Mulan and leave this one to the trash heap of unnecessary remakes.